Let’s try this again, yeah?

It was a year and a few days ago that I made my introductory post.

I had the best of intentions to continue writing and to really make a solid place for myself online but life and illness, as always, had it’s own ideas.

A lot has changed since then and I unknowingly, was going from my normal level of severity to even more severe.

Lately, I’ve been reading other people’s blogs who live this kind of life; a life in the slow lane. Those who are also battling illness and trying to exist in a world that wasn’t really made for people like us.

There is so much sadness, a massive amount of pain and grieving but I also see where we’re courageous, ingenius and truly astounding humans.

But that isn’t enough is it?

We don’t live in a movie where the pain and suffering has significant reasoning and a solid solution in the end.

At least not yet.

If there is one wish I could have granted, it would be that those of us so devestatingly ill could have our health back.

See, it’s December and this time of the year always gets me thinking of the beginning. Those first few years spent so severely ill that I was sure I would die if it were not by the grace of God.

I’ve been sick since the end of 2009/early 2010.

2017 is coming to an end and I can say two things: in the beginning I didn’t expect to survive through the initial onslaught of severe illness and I sure did not expect to continue to be debilitatingly ill for so many years.

I also didn’t expect to gain a couple of close friends who were so wonderful and supportive, to become married to such a kind and amazing person or to finally find diagnoses to the illnesses that have plagued me for years and were dismissed by so many doctors – M.E., MCAD, Dysautonomia.

The past near 8 years have been heart breaking, brutal, beautiful and like a continuous state of rebirth.

I’ve survived them but then again, I have had no other choice.

I, like so many others, was forced to learn how far the body will bend and how much it can break and how little we can do to prevent it let alone, fix it.

Every year, I feel is a testiment to the strength of my soul and the extraordinary thing we call the human body.

I’m hopeful, almost always remaining so, that I can heal to a better state. Here’s to another year, for all of us.

 

 

 

 

The very first post

Hey there, if you’re reading this blog intently then you’re probably part of the family, so to speak.

I’ve been ill with M.E. for about 7 years now and yikes, I can’t believe it’s been that long as I write it but it also feels like it’s been 100 years.

I’m 29 now, still fairly short, still love cats, art, learning anything and everything I get interested in, still very much the same go getter I have always been except my body is often stopping me from doing certain things. I’m diagnosed with both M.E. and Fibromyalgia.

I once was severe and bed-bound for my first two years since this hit me like three sky scrapers collapsing on me and then a dog urinating on top for good measure. 

No slow graduation in to ill world, not for me. Apparently, my body likes to live on the edge and push me near death and back.

Jokes aside, the severity of my illness for years, truly changed my life and everything has been a different world since. 

I am at the moment, mostly housebound but not as bed bound as before. I can go out depending on how my body is doing that week, sometimes it’s too much and I’ll be left recooperating for days, weeks or worse off, months. 

Regardless, I am absolutely grateful for the progress my body has made. 

But this illness is a fickle beast and the journey is one uphill followed by a downhill and twelve zig zags and maybe several blown tires in the process. 

I’m hoping this can be a simple place to hold information but also a place to be honest and raw. 

I’m graduating from microblogging sites and attempting a more serious internet presence. 
Let’s see how far we go! 

C.P.